The Drunk Napkin Excuse – Nomination for the Student Hall of Fame

Nomination for the Student Hall of Fame - The Drunk Napkin Excuse - detail (see below)
Nomination for the Student Hall of Fame - The Drunk Napkin Excuse - detail (see below)

Students are always providing excuses as to why they can’t… something.

I’m proud to announce a fine new entry into the competition in the  ‘Best Original Excuse Delivery Method in an Advanced Photography Class’ category!

This is truly an exciting item in the running for the academic award. (see below)

Creativity is often very uneven, so when it comes right down to critiquing the entries to the Unofficial Student Hall of Fame keeping  a truly dispassionate mind is sometimes a burden. It is, however, an additional educator burden that I’m willing to shoulder.

Examples of common entries in the ‘General Excuse’ Category include (but aren’t limited to):

I can’t………..

  • Hand in the assignment because ______________
  • Come to class because _____________________
  • Answer the question because ________________
  • Stop texting during class because _____________
  • Keep awake in class because _________________

Some the reasons (I use the term ‘reason’ as loosely here as students do) may go from the mundane to the sublime:

  • My puppy ate…
    • The assignment (15 entries to date)
    • My film (11 entries to date)
    • My camera (3 entries to date)
  • My roommate…
    • Lost it (7 entries to date)
    • Spilled beer on It (4 entries to date)
    • Had this girl over and she must have taken it (2 entries to date)
    • Stole my camera (3 entries to date)
  • My assignment…
    • Fell in the pool/river/lake/toilet (9 entries to date)
    • Was confiscated by the police (1 entry to date)
    • Wasn’t so good (27 entries to date)
  • I was late because…
    • My girlfriend’s car got a flat (2 entries to date)
    • I had to take my dog/cat/fish/hamster/snake/kid brother to the vet/doctor/jail (15 entries to date)
    • I killed a frog with my bicycle and had to bury it (1 entry to date)
    • I forgot what time the class started (too many entries to count)
    • I forgot where the classroom was (2 entries to date)
    • I was spaced out (6 entries to date)
  • I won’t be in class because…
    • There’s this band that’s playing (16 entries to date)
    • My boyfriend’s band is playing (4 entries to date)
    • It’s my boyfriend’s day off (5 entries to date)
    • My grandmother died (11 entries to date)
    • My other grandmother died too (3 entries to date)
    • It’s my birthday (11 entries to date)

And now, I’m proud to introduce, a fine new entry in the:

‘Best Original Excuse Delivery Method in an Advanced Photography Class’ category

This is so good an entry that it almost calls out for a new sub-category, ‘Best Drunk-Writing Excuse Note’.

The setup: Kelci was late to class because her mother was having a birthday (“not so unusual”, you say?). This entry is elevated above the average excuse note because her mother Kae drunk-wrote it (like drunk-dialing, or drunk-texting)  on a bar cocktail napkin.

Now, I have been the recipient of occasional notes on bar napkins (haven’t we all?) But I have never, before this, received a student excuse note on one, let alone a drunk-written one. There is even an ‘in-the-note’ disclaimer as to why the center was left otherwise blank.


May I have the napkin, please?

55 today  She is late cause my birthday.
55 today - - She is late cause my birthday.

– – – –

Can you guess?
Can you guess?

Please feel free to submit your own nominations for the Student Hall of Fame (Hall of Shame?)

Author: P U

19 thoughts on “The Drunk Napkin Excuse – Nomination for the Student Hall of Fame

  1. Compared to the things I’ve written on bar napkins over the years, this one’s fairly tame. Still, you gotta give mom some credit for taking an interest in her offspring’s education.

    1. It’s all about the children, sniffle, that’s what’s important, sob, I’m a little choked up. It’s so very moving. And, Wow. The other nominees…you’re all so great, and everything.

      I’d like to thank the academic community, and all the little people I stepped on, and my parents, of course. OK, Thanks. I’ll never forget this.

  2. I love this!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! The drunk bar napkin really beats all. Someone actually said they hit a frog and needed to bury it???? These are great!!!!!!!!!

    1. Hi Lee,

      Yes, student claimed to have hit a frog, with a bicycle no less!

      It begs the question, “So, were you digging the grave in frozen solid tundra which is why you missed a 2 1/2 hour long class?”


      Glad you liked it, I laugh every time I think about this one too.

  3. With all these creative minds out there, it’s getting harder and harder to come up with a novel excuse these days.
    I am curoius about something- Do you own the copyright to the photographic image, the original, or both?

    1. I’m sorry that you’re feeling pressure to excel in your excuses. Sometimes stiff competition is stimulating!

      And yes, I own both. I’m looking at the napkin right now as I write.

      1. I’m afraid I’ll have to postpone our camping trip. My gear got washed away by a tsunami, including the photo of it.

  4. A graphic arts student was absent for the last 7 weeks of one of my sixteen-week courses, thus earning a grade of F. The following semester, he filed a petition to have the F changed to a D. His excuse: “I was busy designing my wedding invitations.”

  5. I remember having to use “there’s this band that’s playing” and our conversation about when and where you had seen Rancid after that 🙂

    1. Yes, you did give me the “there’s this band that’s playing” excuse. Hah!

      At least you were going to see ‘Rancid’.
      Some of other students’ excuses were, well, rancid in the other sense of the word 8-}

      So, no excuses now, when are we gonna get more of your Holga pix?

  6. I love it! I especially like the “I ran over my frog with my bike and had to bury it” one. I hope I’m not on one of those lists! 🙂

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